Even If You'd Rather Not

Pizzeria
Originally uploaded by drewmaniac

• Be thankful.
• Learn patience.
• Be aware of others.
• Learn love.
• Help others.
• Smile regularly.
• Forgive, even if unwarranted.
  
• Learn self discipline.
• Listen to others.
  
• Speak less.
  
• Ask questions.
• Read more often.
• Remain consistent, yet flexible.
  
• Be realistic, yet optimistic.
• Forget past slights.
  
• Encourage others.
• Avoid self pity.
• Eat less.
• Move more.
• Set goals.
• Work to achieve goals.
• Achieve goals and set new ones.
• Be friendly.
• Rid self of bad influences.
• Worry less.
• Seek opportunities.
  
• Create opportunities.
• Be honest at all times.
  

We all know what we need to do to live a better life, even in the most difficult of situations. Don't we? It's just difficult sometimes because we'd rather not take the time to change our mindset or world view. That would take a little work and careful consideration. This list is just a few things I work on continuously. Some come fairly easy (worry less), while others seem to be a constant struggle (eat less). I am sure you have your own list and may have some you could add to mine. In fact, feel free to add to mine. I'm always open to suggestions. These are simple to write and come up with, but very challenging to achieve at times.

We should all strive to improve our day to day life, even if there are days we'd rather not.

Foto Finish Friday

graveyard and church in bamburgh, england, originally uploaded by kevin russ.

*Each Friday an interesting photo is selected to end the week on.

Friends Who Make Poor Financial Decisions

In my previous post, I looked at the importance of overcoming the culture of instant gratification that is prevalent today. I promise this blog hasn't suddenly turned into a financial advice blog. I just believe financial responsibility to be a very important aspect when it comes to living remarkably.

Xin Lu on Wise Bread has some great points when it comes to observing friends making poor financial decisions. As hard as it may be to warn a friend who is making poor financial decisions, the benefits of helping a friend who heeds this advice are immense. One of the hardest things can be observing friends or family continually making poor decisions in anything. Initially it may seem difficult to talk about these things, but there are ways to do so and not come across as invasive.

Here are a few things to think about if you're considering talking with a friend:

• Are you truly concerned? Show it.
  
• Be sympathetic. Maybe they're having financial issues because of hard times (medical bills, lost employment, etc.). Understand that and try to steer them in directions that will benefit them.
  
• Rarely are there any quick fixes. Simply handing over money to your friend usually will not stop poor financial habits. In fact, they generally enable them more and can cause rifts in your friendship.
• Warn them of the roads they should not travel (pay day loans, car title loans, etc.) and point them to the roads they could take as an alternative (saving, changing spending habits, etc.). Don't just say, "NO!". Offer solutions.
• Do not allow anger to enter into the equation if your friend does not heed your advice. Not everyone will listen, or appear to be listening. Some people take some time to come around, others never come around. Just remember it's beyond your control. Just try to assist in pointing out some helpful directions.
  

If you are able to guide your friend to better financial paths, you may just gain a much closer friend. The relationships we cultivate during difficult moments in life are usually the best.

"True friendship ought never to conceal what it thinks." ~ St. Jerome

At the Moment, Instant Gratification is Fun!

.
Originally uploaded by snjezana.

Our entire culture is very impulsive. We've been geared to think that if you want something, you have the option to get it... right now. Instant gratification is fun. Responsibilities are boring. Why are we starting to see the onset of possible economic trouble as a nation? By and large it's because of impulsive behavior (IMHO) in our spending.

By and large popular culture encourages it. By their example governmental leadership embodies it. For the most part families do not discourage it.

"If you'll live like no one else, later you can live like no one else." ~ Dave Ramsey

I keep hearing people talk about the poor economy. I'm not talking about on television, but just as I go about life meeting and talking with people. This person and that person complains that things seem to be getting more difficult. I'm not going to doubt their personal situation. It may be very difficult. I think we all feel the squeeze in our pocket book when it comes to present day fuel prices. However, why are we truly feeling the squeeze? Is it because of gas prices? Is it because of the government's out of control spending? Is it because of the bubble that burst in the housing market? Or is it because we just want things we don't really need?

Let me be clear. I am not trying to be preachy here. There was a time when I was very impulsive in my spending. Whatever I wanted I usually found a way to get it. No matter what bills may be coming up or what responsibilities I already had. I've tried to live like no one else... right now! It's not an easy life. Even in the best of times. In fact, I don't believe it is worth it.

Over the last few years I have slowly worked myself out of a hole I dug. I'm not out yet, and there's still work to be done, but I see that one day I will be. So here I am. Living in the same world as everyone else with these apparent hard times on the horizon, and yet I have never been better off (and that's not great, BTW). I'm learning a valuable lesson. One I think we could all stand to learn, especially in our culture of instant gratification. Spend less, save more, and when hard times come it will be easier to work through them.

It's a simple lesson our grandparents and great grandparents would probably have taught us, had we listened. Those old, worn out phrases like, "The best things come to those who wait" and, "A penny saved is a penny earned" suddenly don't seem so old and worn out do they? Instant gratification is entertaining, but responsible spending and saving has longer term rewards.

Memorial Day

Remeberance, originally uploaded by ~Prescott.

World War II Memorial

You Can't Do Both

Parking Still Available, originally uploaded by Fixed Image.

• So you've just failed at your project. Maybe you put a great deal of effort and thought into it. Maybe you could have done more. Still, your goals were not accomplished.

• So you've just been fired. Maybe it was justified. Maybe it was not. Still, the reality is you now need a job.

• So you've just been told by a friend you aren't really as good a friend as you thought. Maybe they are being unfair. Maybe they're not. Still, your friendship is now facing a crossroads.

• So you missed a promotion you had thought you were in line to get. Maybe you were overlooked by a less qualified person who won't do nearly as good a job as you would have. Maybe you were never up for consideration in the first place. Still, you are going to work tomorrow doing the same old thing.

You have two options.

1. You can be bitter.
   
2. You can get better.

You can't do both.

Foto Finish Friday

Neste Dia, originally uploaded by aqui-ali.

*Each Friday an interesting photo is selected to end the week on.

Decisions, Decisions

Originally uploaded by Steven L.

"Indecision is debilitating; it feeds upon itself; it is, one might almost say, habit-forming. Not only that, but it is contagious; it transmits itself to others." ~ H. A. Hopf

It's easy to shy away from decisions. It doesn't matter how large or small they may be. Ask a friend where they want to eat for lunch and they may say something like, "I don't care. You decide." With that, the onus is now back on you. Face a situation where you must decide between a promotion that requires you to relocate or miss the promotion you've always wanted by remaining where you are, and you can find yourself in the same situation: Unable to make a decision.

Indecision is actually a decision. It's the decision to make no decision.

Some Questions To Consider

• When a difficult decision is required, how often does indecisiveness actually cause the decision to go away?
  
• How often does it make things better?
  
• How often does it make things worse?
  
• Wouldn't you benefit from being a little more decisive?

I know you're smart enough to know the answer to all of those questions. So decide today that indecision will no longer be an option. When a friend asks where you want to eat, tell them your favorite restaurant! And on those even more important life decisions, consider them wisely and throw aside the fear that comes from indecision.

In ancient Rome
There was a poem
About a dog
Who found two bones
He picked at one
He licked the other
He went in circles
He dropped dead

Freedom of Choice by DEVO

Yeah, I just quoted a song by DEVO. I never said all decisions were good ones.

Quotables of May

Elsie
Originally uploaded by .elsie*cake.

This month: Taking Advantage of Opportunities

"The lack of opportunity is ever the excuse of a weak, vacillating mind. Opportunities! Every life is full of them. Every newspaper article is an opportunity. Every client is an opportunity. Every sermon is an opportunity. Every business transaction is an opportunity -- an opportunity to be polite -- an opportunity to be manly -- an opportunity to be honest -- an opportunity to make friends." ~ Orison Swett Marden

"The pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity. The optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty." ~ Winston Churchill

"Some say opportunity knocks only once, That is not true. Opportunity knocks all the time, but you have to be ready for it. If the chance comes, you must have the equipment to take advantage of it." ~ Louis L'Amour

"In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity." ~ Albert Einstein

Foto Finish Friday

Golden Gate & Full Moon, Panorama, originally uploaded by MumbleyJoe.

*Each Friday an interesting photo is selected to end the week on.

Serving Oatmeal With a Smile

madras, or
Originally uploaded by kevin russ

Odds are you don't know Sharon Davis. For the past three years in the cafeteria where I work she has been serving up my breakfast (usually oatmeal) with a smile and friendly attitude. Sharon has always been positive and genuine to everyone she comes across.

Today was Sharon's last day at work. Leaving not because she wanted to, but because of forces outside her control. Her mother has been ailing for a long time, and her sister is also in poor health. Yet very few people were even aware of this because she always stayed so positive and upbeat while serving our food.

Towards the end of the day I observed as my department (some 100-150 people) and a very large number of people from many other departments surprised her. Sharon was brought up to my department and she teared up as nearly everyone had stopped what they were doing and gave her a standing ovation as she entered the room. There were countless cards, hundreds of dollars raised, and numerous well wishers waiting to say good-bye to Sharon. It was a very touching and genuine moment.

Sometimes we think we have to be somebody of importance, or in an authoritative position to make a difference. We think we have no influence unless we wear a title like President, CEO, or manager. I'm not even sure that Sharon had an official title. Yet she influenced the large majority of a major corporation's home office in a positive way.

Sharon positively impacted countless people simply by serving oatmeal with a smile. How about you? How can you positively impact people's lives?

"Who shall set a limit to the influence of a human being?" ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Next Question, Please

Orange You Glad?
Originally uploaded by drewmaniac

I'm engaged, so I figure I know a little something about this topic. There are a few things you experience while engaged that you most likely will never experience again in life. Like really ridiculous questions, for example. The people asking these questions are usually just kidding around, but after the 100th time of being asked them, they are no longer funny. Come to think of it, after about the second time around they are no longer funny. Here are a few I've heard one too many times:

• "Getting cold feet?" - This question is usually followed by a chuckle. My response is usually "No." But what if my answer was, "Yes", what then? Is the question no longer funny? In case you just asked yourself, "Where did that phrase come from?" and you are curious, here's the origin of that phrase "cold feet".
  
• "Are you nervous?" - Why would I be nervous months before? Excited, maybe, but nervous? Nervousness usually comes shortly before or during an event, not months before. Or weeks for that matter.
  
• "Are you getting excited?" - No, I'm bored.
• "Having second thoughts?" - If I was, would I just come right out and say it as you attempt to engage me in small talk? How unstable would that be? How awkward would you feel if I turned your small talk into a therapist session?
  
• "You can still back out!" - True. And you can stop pestering me with your not so funny, not so serious, questions and remarks.
  
• "You're too young to get married!" - At 2 months shy of 30, I haven't had anyone say this to me. But, my fiancee has heard it. So I'm going to answer this with a question. What is the magical age that everyone is ready for marriage?
  

There are others, but I think you get the drift. I am just thankful we didn't take the long engagement route, or I would be pulling my hair out by now.

Of course, once I'm married I am sure I'll grow weary of, "So, how's married life?" I'm already working on a good comeback.

*Thanks goes to Megan Loftin for the idea for this post. I've been experiencing some writer's block of late.

That Wasn't Supposed To Happen!

colinmlenton_com1, originally uploaded by colinmlenton.

So your day didn't quite go as planned. Now what? You carefully crafted your goals, but somewhere along the way some unexpected events have either slowed or crushed them. How are you going to react?

Things don't always go as planned. In fact, sometimes it can feel as if they rarely do. How do you react? How should you react? Here are a few ways that I think can be helpful in dealing with plans gone wrong:

• Allow for changes in your goals ahead of time.
  
• Be flexible, even if accomplishing your goal is a must.
• Don't worry about possible deterrents. Worrying about something that may never happen will only slow you and could cause a minor distraction to appear to be much more than it is
• Stay focused on your goal and deal with the distraction calmly.
• Remain calm.
• Resist the temptation to become angry or frustrated at the turn of events.
• Have a sense of humor about your sudden change in plans.
  

There are many more I am sure I could list, but I think you get the point. Anything to add?

Foto Finish Friday (On Thursday)

The Smith-Smith Wedding Party Jump Take 2, originally uploaded by capturingreallife.

This week's photo has been posted a little early due to the fact that I will most likely be unable to access the Internet tomorrow. I'll be out of town at a wedding for the weekend. Everyone have a great weekend!

*Each Friday an interesting photo is selected to end the week on.

Avoiding a Good Day

Lines. Lot's of Lines.
Originally uploaded by drewmaniac

"A clear understanding of negative emotions dismisses them." ~ Vernon Howard

Previously I wrote about how simple it is to avoid a bad day. So I felt it necessary to point out that it is almost just as easy to avoid a good day. I know most of us don't want to avoid a good day. Still, there are times we make decisions that can cause our days to be far more complicated and stressful than they should be. There are some people you and I know who seem to experience one bad day after another. Why is this? Obviously there are times things happen to us that we have very little control over. But what I want to look at are the things we sometimes do in our day to day lives that cause us to avoid experiencing a good day.

Here are some simple ways you can avoid having a good day:

• Dread the day ahead.
• Be negative.
• Be negative often.
• Refuse to be friendly
• Complain
• Be envious of the advantages (real or imagined) of others.
• Blame everyone or everything else for your ills.
• Don't smile
• Hold grudges.
• Feel entitled
• Put others down in an effort to feel better about yourself, or gain some sort of perceived advantage.
• Get angry over small and meaningless matters.
• Feel sorry for yourself.

You see, it's really simple to avoid a good day as well. The key is for us to recognize that often we hold the answer. We can choose our attitude. Sure, there will be times when difficult times arise that are beyond our control. Maybe even difficult situations we must attend to. But, if we have been focusing on our attitude from the beginning of the day we'll be much more prepared to handle those situations in a way that is beneficial.

What sort of day are you going to avoid having?

"Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain -- and most fools do." ~ Dale Carnegie

Avoiding a Bad Day

Dare
Originally uploaded by drewmaniac

"Good thoughts bear good fruit, bad thoughts bear bad fruit." ~ James Allen

It's simple, really. Almost too simple. Want to have a good day today? Start thinking a little more positively. Begin to look around you and notice the good things in your life. Stop being so negative. Resist the urge to complain, get irritated, or react with anger. Even when justified.

As humans we always try to complicate things. Simplicity is boring. Simplicity seems uninteresting. Surely there is some secret to having a good day that we don't know. People even make their living writing books about secrets you can discover that will help you have a good day, week, or even life. The interesting thing, is it's really quite simple. Here are a few simple things to think about while you decide to kick your day off right. Reading this in the middle of the day? Well, go ahead and turn today around, right now!

• Be thankful.
• Forget past wrongs.
• Forgive, even if the person doesn't seem to deserve it.
  
• Smile.
• Listen to someone.
• Ask questions in an effort to get to know someone.
• Be friendly.
• Greet people when you first encounter them.
• Listen to music that gets you feeling good. While writing this, I'm listening to Powerman by The Kinks. Always gets me in a good, upbeat mood for some reason.
  
• When you wake up, tell yourself you are going to stay positive.
  
• Continue to focus on being positive, even when things don't exactly go as planned.
  
• Be nice.
• Be courteous.
• Open a door for a stranger.
• Hug someone.
• Laugh.
• Help someone.

It's simple, really. You don't even need to purchase a book. You already knew all of these things. So why not start your day by doing some of them? I bet, you could even add some good things to this list.

"These are not dark days: these are great days -- the greatest days our country has ever lived." ~ Winston Churchill, as London was being bombed on a daily basis by Nazi Germany.

Takin' What They Givin'

Originally uploaded by 米死米(MSM)

We're used to taking what is handed us. Sometimes we're even pretty good at convincing ourselves we like what is handed us. For an example, let's look at American pop culture. Pop culture says the music on the radio, American Idol, and other mass media outlets is what you should be listening to. It's what is cool. It's what you should like. As a result, masses upon masses mindlessly listen to the music they're being fed in those arenas. Some people don't even realize there are other alternatives, or worse, they don't care. After all, it's on the radio and American Idol. It must be good, right?

That's just it. What is perceived as cool, is not necessarily good. It's cool to go to Starbucks, but start going there all the time and taking in all of those calories your body weight will quickly become very uncool (not to mention, your wallet will become lighter). Suddenly what is cool isn't exactly good.

Which brings me to my other point. When we mindlessly follow pop culture, we're doing nothing but taking in what the beast is feeding us. It could be damaging to us personally in some ways (especially if taken in excess), but it's cool so we don't care. Some of the best music I have ever heard has never been played on the radio, and probably never will be. Some of the best places to eat out haven't sold billions of hamburgers or stayed open for a fourth meal after midnight. In fact, I'll just say it: The best restaurants never have to make those claims or try gimmicks like staying open late in order to get you to have a midnight snack.

So why do we settle for what is cool? Why do we insist upon being mediocre or much worse, just like the masses who are mindlessly taking what they're giving?

Foto Finish Friday

come away with me, originally uploaded by virginiaz.

*Each Friday an interesting photo is selected to end the week on.