Thursday, December 6, 2007

5 Reasons Winter Is Bad For Your Health

The temperature has finally dropped. It has rained and sleeted most of the day. It should be a nice sheet of ice in the morning. Since I arise for work at a ridiculous hour (the sun isn't even dreaming of coming out), I fully expect to do some sliding around and whatnot. December, and probably more notably, winter has arrived.

I've said it before and I expect I'll say it again. I'm not a fan of winter. Maybe someday I'll do something about that and move to a place where the winters are bearable. By bearable, I mean any place that never goes below fifty degrees.


5 Reasons Winter Is Bad For Your Health

  1. Excess clothing. The ridiculous amount of clothing one often has to wear to stay warm during the winter months can cause many problems. Among them are blood clots. I know that sounds absurd, but think about all the layers of clothing you're piling on! That can't be good for keeping the blood flowing! It restricts your movement. No movement due to excess clothing equals blood clots. I'm convinced of it, so don't argue with me about science. Remember Ralphy's brother in that move A Christmas Story? His mother piled on the clothing and soon he was screaming, "I can't put my arms down!" Blood clots, man.
  2. The blues. I'm not talking Muddy Waters here. That's not so bad. Let's face it. The long winter months can be depressing. Winter is full of short days and long nights. It has the cold that keeps you indoors as well. These things and more add up to more depression than an emo kid could possibly fantasize about. There's a reason there are more people suffering from depression per capita in Seattle, where it rains and is dark all the time. Oh yeah, and did I mention it gets cold and snowy there?
  3. Shoveling snow. Old people die from it every year.
  4. Car wrecks. Do I even need to convince you of this? Too many people who don't know how to drive on ice and/or snow drive on ice and/or snow. Here's a tip: You don't keep hitting your brakes!
  5. Christmas music. It's December 6th, and I've had enough. If I hear one more carol it might just be bad for someone else's health. Alright, I'll admit that's a little overboard. In all seriousness though, I am sure there is a direct correlation between Christmas music and the flu. Don't believe me? Let's try a winter without Christmas music. We'd probably rid ourselves of the flu. Since we've never thought to try it before, I'd say it's worth a shot. Think of the lives you'd make more comfortable by ridding winter of that dreaded music! Oh yeah, and the flu!
Black & White Ice

No comments: