Saturday, December 22, 2007

Michael Douglas, Bob Barker, and Chuck Norris (oh yes, all three in one blog)

In case a few senior citizens weren't watching their evening news the other night, they would have missed the debut of the voice of Michael Douglas introducing the NBC Nightly News. I know, right, who cares? I really don't either. It's a little absurd, to be entirely honest. A shameless publicity stunt to get the news in, well, the news. Is Gordan Gekko really going to bring more viewers to the evening news by introducing it each night? Probably not.

I know no one really watches the evening news much anymore. Until last year when I bought my iPod, I hadn't see an episode for years. Then, I got a couple of podcasts of the NBC news just because they were free and I thought it would be a little cool to watch the news on my iPod while driving down the Interstate (safe, no?). Problem was, I watched a couple of episodes and remembered why I hadn't watched in years.

I got to thinking however (something I do too often), what other personalities could they have chosen to introduce the evening news? Surely there were better candidates.

  • Rod Roddy - Granted, he's dead. But he would have made for a much more exciting opening to the evening news with, "Briiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan Williams!! Come on down!"
  • Ed McMahon - Another excellent choice that would have woke up nursing homes everywhere. "Heeerrrre's Brian!"
  • Bob Barker - He's popular in the women under 30 demographic (still!), and I hear he's out of work these days.
  • Michael Vick - He has lot's of time (oh yes, that pun was intentional) on his hands these days. Besides he's only number two on the pet's most hated list. Number one is Bob Barker.
  • Dick Vitale - It's true that he's had throat surgery and won't be able to talk much for a couple of months, but he'd be a great lead-in to the NBC Nightly News. "Live from Rockefeller Center in New York, tt's the NBC Nightly News with Brian Williams, baby!! He's awesome baby!!"
  • Emilio Estevez - What? Michael Douglas wasn't just a random celebrity? Besides, he looks like Michael, sounds like Michael, and is a lot younger. So he'd be able to do if for years to come!
Just saying.

On another ridiculous note. Chuck Norris has just sued publisher Penguin for printing a book of Chuck Norris "facts". Why? Because his tears do not cure cancer. Think I'm making this up? Go see for yourself - "Chuck Norris sues, says his tears no cancer cure".

Can no one take a joke anymore?


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