Thursday, January 15, 2009

Oblivious to Gossip

Day 54/366; Oblivious
Originally uploaded by aperryz302

On most occasions it probably isn't a good idea to be oblivious.

When it comes to gossip, name calling, and outright slander of another person you should be oblivious to most of it. Staying out of gossip rings and being oblivious to their talk is one of the best things you can do. Avoid those who do nothing but find the next juicy detail to talk about. They're looking for drama and attention most of the time. There is no reason to entertain them.

Gossip and slander can not only destroy the person's reputation it is directed toward, it will also destroy your creditability if you engage it. It will destroy your character. It destroys relationships, both personal and professional.

Once you are viewed as a gossip, it will become very difficult to move up in the ranks at your job. Often you are trusted with sensitive material when in a position of authority or great responsibility. If you cannot keep your mouth shut or you hang around the gossip ring you will not be considered for most top tier positions. It never ceases to amaze me how many do not understand that.

My point? If there is a time when you should be found oblivious, it's on all the latest gossip and slander. Your character depends on it.

"Whoever gossips to you will gossip about you." ~ Spanish Proverb


Jon said...

Good post - I totally agree - I can't stand gossiping.

That said, rumours in the workplace (and in social circles in general) are pretty important, and often the worst thing you can do is ignore them. Obama dealt with this really well during the election, and you can read about it here

Andrew Weaver said...

Appreciate the comment, Jon. Perhaps I didn't make it as clear as I should have, but when I say "be oblivious to gossip", I mean avoid it at all costs. Avoid the circles it tends to spread in. Avoid those who want to share it with you on a continuous basis. Stop those who would like to share some juicy detail with you. Do not participate in the spreading of slander and gossip.

When you do this, it does not mean you won't be aware of gossip. You cannot help but hear it sometimes. What it means is you will be considered oblivious by those who participate. You won't be marked by those who do not participate in it. You will, for all intents and purposes, be oblivious to gossip.

I hope that explained it a bit better. Also, glad to hear you cannot stand gossiping. That makes two of us. :)

Wife said...

Also- if you keep trying to stay out of the gossip circles, and you are always stopping somebody from sharing something with you they shouldn't, then that will make them stop coming to you with that information. They will soon see that you don't really care, and since you aren't any fun to spread the gossip to, they will soon stop trying to share it with you.